When I am uptight because the house hasn’t sold and it’s been nine months and what in the world am I supposed to be learning here and am I really going to have a mortgage until I’m forty?…I grab a purple pen and a notebook, and I write this down:
Well, what really matters anyway? A husband’s embrace; waking on a rainy morning with my child in my arms; the noises the frogs make on a night in June?
Laughter. A photograph to remember life by, meals eaten together, a novel poured through.
Letters in the mailbox, words from friends. Digging in the dirt. A sore back. A quiet, watching cat.
A song, a poem, a life.
In the morning, I continue where I left off.
First day of summer, caring for children, warm mugs of tea, a sunrise prayer, dancing in the kitchen, a red wagon.
It’s the recording, the noticing of the endless gifts, that reminds me, wherever I am, it is where he has placed me, and if I can’t live and love fully here, why do I think I could anywhere else?
Because all I can grasp with these small hands is one tick of the clock at a time. Moment by moment, whether in a big old farmhouse with an overgrown yard and an endless list of things to fix or in a tiny house of my own design, I am still going to be there. Me, with this restless and ungrateful heart. Unless I can learn the lesson, find joy in each second ticking by? And then it doesn’t matter where I am, only that I am in Christ, and he is in me.
If you seek me you shall find me…
Is this noticing actually the seeking he speaks of? Seeking Jesus in every thing? These things I say I cannot live without: love, truth, beauty, the natural world, he is there in all of them. He is love, he created all things, in him all things hold together. This little family, and those big beautiful trees around the house that isn’t selling, and the clouds in the sky, all held together by…
Can I learn this lesson of joy anywhere, in anything?
Note: if I was not posting this from my phone, I would definitely be linking to Ann Voskamp’s A Holy Experience blog and book within the post. (Annvoskamp.com) Her book, One Thousand Gifts, has birthed a wellspring of God-centered gratitude in the hearts of many who have read it. I want to give due credit to her for the theme of this particular post, though it by no means encompasses the entire message of Ann’s book, which is well worth the reading.